coldest of comforts

[rmd]

i suppose one advantage i have in the process of dealing with losing a second parent that i didn't have when i lost my first (besides NOT BEING SIXTEEN, and otherwise having a comparatively rational adult brain, now) is that having already gone thru losing a parent, i know that the world will not actually end and i will, eventually, find a new steady state after this perturbation and continue on.

Comments

[bridgetminerva.livejournal.com]

that is indeed also my comfort.

I am sorry and kinda happy for you loss. Happy in that you wont have to deal with The Decline. Sorry because you are in pain as well.

[rmd.livejournal.com]

yeah. it sucks a tremendous amount, but there are many ways in which it is not the worst case scenario that could've happened.

[flabosib.livejournal.com]

Actually, I thought you had a fairly rational brain at 16, but I'll admit I'm a little biased on your behalf.

Love you!

[kimberlogic.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[unclebooboo.livejournal.com]

Knowing that you will eventually return to equilibrium can be very reassuring, but you've still got a lot to get through before you get there, and the ride might not be all that easy. Remember to take care of yourself while you deal with this.

For me, losing my father was the start of coming to grips with my own mortality. The rude shock of being diagnosed with a chronic disease was enough to knock me into a full-blown mid-life crises...

[rmd.livejournal.com]

i've bumped into my own mortality a few times, recently, and it was not fun but survivable. i had two go-rounds with cancer - one in 1998 (uterine), the other in 2003 (ovarian). in both cases, things were low-grade enough that surgery alone fixed things and i didn't need radiation or chemo or other fun things like that. (if you have to have cancer, i strongly recommend getting lazy, slow-growing cancers.)

i expect some major life changes will come out of my next return to equilibrium. for now, i'm sort of assuming that i'll be unusually flaky for a while and am resisting all spontaneous urges involving unusual large purchases or major lifestyle changes. :-)

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but it sort of sucks that knowing it doesn't actually get you out of the whole process. I used to always feel that way about broken hearts (a significantly more trivial trauma, but still)--that since I was mature enough to know that this wasn't the end of the world and I would, very soon, be able to breathe without sobbing, shouldn't that mean that I could just skip to that point? Why can't we just Pass Go and Collect Two Hundred Dollars NOW?!

[agrimony.livejournal.com]

*hugs a whole lot*

[tcb.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[kjc.livejournal.com]

My offer to adopt you, you poor orphink, still stands.

Love you!

[flabosib.livejournal.com]

I wanna adopt her! Oh wait, I already did, sort of.

[solarbird]

hugs!

[koshmom.livejournal.com]

hugs. not much more I can think of to say.

[poodlgrl.livejournal.com]

The Mystery of Pain
Emily Dickinson

Pain has an element of blank;
It cannot recollect
When it began, or if there were
A day when it was not.

It has no future but itself,
Its infinite realms contain
Its past, enlightened to perceive
New periods of pain.

[lil-brown-bat.livejournal.com]

That's a minor "comfort" compared to the extra whammy that comes with losing a second parent. I believe that it's typically a lot more destabilizing (I know it was for me). Grief counseling is a Good Idea, really -- particularly considering the time of year.

Please take care of yourself, dear.

[rmd.livejournal.com]

yeah, i had just gotten myself back into individual therapy. apparently JUST IN TIME for whole new issues to erupt in my life.

thanks, babe.

[sunspiral.livejournal.com]

::sends comforting thoughts & hugs::

[liralen.livejournal.com]

Condolences and warm hugs.

Take care of yourself, please. :-)